Time keeps on slippin'...

No, there is nothing wrong with your eyes. This is actually a new post! (although i'm guessing i have reused the title ... not bothering to double-check yet)

Things have been quite busy for me. Thanks to those who have been checking in periodically and sending well-wishes, etc. Things were pretty bleak when I was unemployed (although then I had lots of time for blogging!). Got a temporary gig in Chicago in July, and just as I started settling into that a full-time position opened up in Springfield. Interviewed in August, relocated in September (about two days before starting work!), and the rest has been a whirlwind. Blogging (and keeping up on reading blogs) has had to take a seat in my standing-room-only world of work and other excitements like paying bills.

We're finally unpacked and settled into the new place, and trying to restart healthy routines like exercising and getting some minimum amounts of sleep. Keeping up on world events and venting a bit on this blog are also in the works. I did update the "about me" and the "music" tabs under the header. This spurt of false "productivity" will probably last me through next June. :-)

In the meantime, I will be trying to catch up on all those blogs I used to read, in addition to studying for my Surgery in-training exam in January and keeping up with my other duties. And slowly getting rid of all the junk in the extra boxes I've been hauling around during my last three moves.

Bonzo bits

(gonna pilot this one here - a section for little anecdotes and observations)

Text message spell-check is pretty square

My wife was heading to her "Bloody Mary Mafia" meet-up (that's a topic for another blog) this morning before I had finished up at work, so she sent me a quick text to update me. "Walking to the car now" is what I received - which is weird 'cause I had the car at work. Apparently she uses the "auto-complete" feature, and her phone didn't suspect that "bar" would be the intended word choice at 11:17 am on a Saturday. Go figure.

C.R.A.P.py wednesday

Catch-up Rants And Platitudes - #9

yesterday,
this "kitty flu" seemed so far awa-ay-ay,
now it looks as if it's here to stay,
o-o-oh, how i wish i could shake it today...

Sorry, I don't like to whine about my health here - especially two posts in a row, but this really hit me outta nowhere and finally seemed to be nearly gone yesterday. Then I start again with the sneezing, coughing - it's moved into my airway and is hanging tight. Oh, well - breathing is over-rated anyway.

The job hunt

Ups, downs, and crevasses so deep that light cannot penetrate. It's amazing how varied places are about whether or not they even reply to inquiries. And how. Some take weeks before they respond and then give you a name to retry with, others forward your materials and send you info back by the next day. I expected research positions to be available at a dime a dozen, but these are as difficult to scare up as residency spots. I have broken out of my box and started applying for other related positions as well. I can't believe that I cannot scare up a "training position," but I have a solid bite on a "medical director" position DESPITE my repeated emphasis on my lack of experience. That will be an interesting pursuit....

All the proper "official" training programs seem to be sopped up for now - although last-minute cancellations could swing something in my favor. In the meantime the most promising lead (which I still don't have enough info on yet) is a somewhat-equivalent training position to what I have been seeking, but for only 1 year, at an un-accredited program in a hospital that will be hell to work at (but a good educational experience).

The rest of my life

Just as I am ready to step back and see what spins from the job hunt, another set of hoops presents itself. I feel so back-logged in my other endeavors. I actually took a full week off from my volunteering activities but I'm still just treading water. Part of the whole frustration is about finding a new place to live, but since I could just as easily be moving to Ohio or Colorado vs. staying right here in Chicago, it's hard to get serious about packing and choosing some new digs. But I desperately need to do so - this place is bleeding me nearly double what I should be spending.

That "pack rat" gene isn't helping either - still have TONS of crap to go through and toss (or sell - dumped several boxes of old books, and made about $50 on the deal too!), nevermind the reading I should be doing to stay current. Exercise and keeping up on news keep getting shifted to the back-burner as well.

Politics

Again, have been on hiatus about serious topics, but hoping to get back into it soon. Was as amused as ever to see the opposite reactions to Obama's Middle East speech - with the neocons and right-wingers calling it an apology tour, and the rational Americans applauding his moves toward building unity on the national stage. Would be nice to see some positive changes over there, and I think we have a real chance... if other people and events don't screw things up. These reporters held prisoner in North Korea - hopefully the "leverage" that situation is creating can be resolved in a peaceful manner.

Glad to see that the gay marriage issue is slowly swinging the right direction - what are we at now, 6 states that have legalized it? When is "Don't ask, don't tell" gonna get the ax then? I know there are other priorities out there, but this is causing problems with availability of translators in the military, and should be a welcomed relief for our already-overused service people to get more personnel over there.

Movies

Have yet to get out to see Star Trek, but hopefully I can make that happen next week. In the meantime, have managed to sneak in some views of newer DVD releases, so I'll try to get some reviews up soon. Rotten Tomatoes seems to have overhauled the site nicely - I'll have to update my sidebar links, and will point you in that direction when I've got something to show there.

In the meantime, back to my unscheduled grind - hope to have some good news soon!

C.R.A.P. Sunday - Groundhog edition

Catch-up Rants And Platitudes - #2 - a brief look at recent news items, etc.

[I realize this is officially posting on Monday - getting something in just before, at, or after the deadline is sorta a specialty of mine.] So had my interview on the East Coast this past week - travel went pretty smoothly, and the interview itself not too bad. Unfortunately, up against three other very well qualified candidates, and did not feel any strong "good vibes" with any of the faculty. Called in a favor with a former adviser who may have some influence on them for me, but not anticipating good news. Back to the drawing board....

• Octuplets - Hmmm, interesting - so she had herself a litter. Oh, there she goes, she had herself a litter again. I know, not exactly a "litter" for the first group of SIX kids, since they do range in age and I think there is only one pair of twins. But it is quite surprising how slowly information is leaking out about this woman, who is only the second to give birth to octuplets in the U.S. From what I have pieced together, she is a single mother, living with her own mother (or had been until recently), obsessed with having kids (planned to have 12), underwent IVF (in-vitro fertilization) with donor sperm and then had the embryos frozen. Somehow - after already successfully birthing six children over recent years - she managed to convince doctors to implant her with all the remaining embryos. When she hooked up with the docs that cared for her through delivery, she had seven viable embryos detected. Doctors offered to therapeutically reduce the number to give her overall pregnancy a better chance of going to term and having healthier babies. She refused - which is fully within her rights. A surprise 8th baby is delivered among all the others at about 31 weeks (9 weeks early) - fortunately far enough along that they all have a good chance of survival.
  
  Of course - all will require quite a long hospitalization before they are fully out of the woods, which is quite expensive. This single mom will be caring for 14 young children - which is an impossible task without assistance. How she managed the resources to secure IVF and then implantation for each of her pregnancies (also very expensive) is beyond me. What doctor(s) in the world would dump all remaining frozen embryos into the uterus of a mother of SIX is borderline unethical. Presumably she did not want "leftover" frozen embryos to be destroyed (will address this more in an upcoming post about abortion rights), and perhaps only wanted to become pregnant one last time, but that is so irresponsible on the part of the physicians as well as herself to intentionally place herself into a super-high risk pregnancy - risky for her health, risky for the guardianship of her current kids, and risky for the babies she would be carrying. Once everyone is back from the hospital, can you imagine what her home life will be like?!? Nuts.
  
  
• Gay & transgender rights - please see my previous post for a dedicated rant on this topic. In the wake of the California prop 8 fiasco, there has recently been a victory for gay rights in Washington state, giving domestic partners all remaining rights of spouses (without the title of "spouse" itself). And without a whole lot of ruckus. Of course conservatives are complaining that it is a doorway to eventual gay marriage legislation.... Maybe that is the way it will have to go, slowly progressive steps until "marriage" is the next logical and undeniable right to confer.
  
  Something that bothers me though is the recent lawsuit filed by two transgender people in Illinois, demanding that the state alter their birth certificates to reflect their current gender status. Because they had their surgeries overseas, the Illinois government is refusing based on a lack of physician documentation. That should be a moot point - they ARE able to get passports, driver's license, etc. granted with their "current" gender. Why should birth records be altered? How is it ever acceptable to alter that sort of documentation? They were born as "boys" - not some ambiguous genitalia issue that was later resolved. They had elective surgery to become women, and are legally considered women based on their active personal IDs. Why should an archival document be changed? When a name is changed due to marriage or some other court procedure, the original birth certificate does not need to change. Granted, there is at least a paper trail to connect person A with their records under previous name B - so maybe a form documenting the change would be something to serve whatever need spurned this lawsuit. But changing vital records because of events later in life - that just doesn't seem right.
  
  
• On the topic of Illinois government (maybe my last comment on it for a while?), driving home after a Superbowl party tonight I was unexpectedly pleased at the removal of Blagojevich's name from the open-road toll plazas. Granted, it was probably $15,000 that could have been spent for something else, but that price pales in comparison to the $400,000-ish dollars the signs initially cost. And wow - the government managed to get something done in just a matter of days from the impeachment. I guess some people were pretty anxious to see that name wiped away.
  
  
• Dining out in a city in Tuscany - Not that I have ever had the chance to hang in Italy, nor do I anticipate this in the near future, but caught a snippet that made me triple take. Apparently, the tourism board of the city (Lucca?) has banned ethnic food. Huh? Well, new ethnic food. Their existing restaurants can stay, but apparently they will not allow any new establishments whose menus focus on any sort of non-local food items. No kebabs (Greek food), Thai, etc. Not even Sicilian food. What?? Isn't that basically a part of Italy? They want to preserve the feel of the region, but apparently even local chefs are complaining because "fusion" cooking is all the rage now, and they feel this could limit their menu options. But what happened to consumer choice and freedom?!? If I go to Tuscany I should be able to choose to have "authentic" Tuscan food... but should also have the option for whatever variety is available. If / when I go to such a region, I would definitely be staying long enough to enjoy several meals - why not have the option for a good curry dish as a break? This is also discriminatory to immigrants, who often support themselves by cooking up the cuisine of their homeland. "FAIL" for attempting to curtail freedom of choice.
  
  
• Finally, I cannot hold my tongue (or fingers, I guess) on the topic of the "Snuggie." People, this is just a comfy robe, or a flannel shirt, or whatever garment is handy, worn backwards. Do you really needs these direct marketers shoveling more crap down your throats?!? I'd like to load up a garbage scow with all the Sham-Wow's, Ped-eggs, clappers, touch lights, Chia-heads, choppers and juicers and try to get the pirates off Somalia to take THOSE off our hands. SHAM-UGHH!

Well, I guess that is enough for now. If you made it all the way to here, even I am impressed. Hope you enjoyed the Superbowl - it was pretty tight, a good show right to the very end. In case you've got it taped, TIVO'd, DVR'd, or just hoping to catch highlights I won't be the one to spoil it for ya. But man - cannot believe the number of penalties ... that has got to be a record. Here's to hoping for a cloudy day tomorrow - no shadows for the little rodent.

---

Photos mercilessly stolen from Google images.

C.R.A.P. Sunday - New Year's edition

Catch-up Rants And Platitudes - #1
Like I indicated before, I'm just getting back into blogging. Here I'll make use of something I've seen from other bloggers - an outlet for mini-rants and messages that wouldn't otherwise be worth a post of their own. Things I've been stewing over for the past week or so and are still with me enough to need venting.

• First off, would like to wish happy holidays and best wishes for the New Year to any and all (or should I say, "both") my readers. :-) A little cliche'd, but heartfelt all the same. We have a lot to look forward to this year as a nation as well as globally - dealing with the economic crisis, high hopes for our new president, working through this recent conflict in the Middle East as well as other fronts - not to mention our own personal goals. And a whole year ahead of us to make good on those goals or to screw-'em up. At least we can vow to fight off procrastination THIS time....



• Blago - Ugh. Have long since given up hope of our Illinois governor resigning, but the taint left by his appointment of Burris as senator has been compounded by Burris's own words.
  
  Apparently, the process of seating a senator (at least, in this situation) requires signatures of both the governor and the secretary of state on a document which then goes to the senate, which then "seats" the representative in the appropriate caucus. The democratic caucus is refusing to seat any appointee by Blago for good reason - he is charged with corruption DIRECTLY RELATING TO his power of appointing a replacement for Obama. Our secretary of state, Jesse White, has refused to sign the document as well.
  
  But here is Burris in a statement to the press saying, (paraphrased:) "I have been legally appointed, I am senator - the rest is just paperwork." And on the day the appointment was made, I recall Burris saying something to the effect of "I have made it to the Senate!" Shouldn't the "elevation" to that position more appropriately be recognized as an outlet for his constituents (ie, the residents of Illinois), rather than as a personal achievement?!? He insists the corruption charges are unrelated to his being appointed, and is fighting to be installed instead of letting the legal process resolve things. To the claim that "Illinois needs it's representation" - fine, install an "interim" senator until a permanent one is appointed by a taint-free governor or voted in by a special election. Clinging to the appointment has only stained Burris further, and his refusal to consider the wishes of his constituents as well as his future colleagues proves that he is not the kind of representative I would want in Washington.
  
  Even president-elect Obama (a fellow black politician) is calling for Burris to decline the appointment - so the argument of letting it happen for the sake of keeping an African American democrat in the position should hold no weight.



• Reading - in my down-time I am getting a little better about turning the TV off (finally!) and trying to plow through some books. I guess I'll write a separate entry on this. Recently finished "Wicked," now (re-)reading the original "Wizard of Oz" to see what was based on the original work....



• In early December had a job interview for what would have been an ideal position for July 2009, and a 1 in 3 chance of getting it. Was told we'd find out within the week. After nearly 3 ADDITIONAL weeks of untoward suspense, finally learned that the position went to a different candidate. Have another interview at the end of January, and in the meantime will keep searching - but in the meantime this uncertainty and state of limbo is driving me (and the wife!) NUTS!



• Just to throw another wrench in the gears, my car decided to stop working during the holidays. Thankfully it was after the family meet-up, so no big plans had to be canceled - but it's always a pain in the ass. It is going on 12 years old, and hasn't given me too many problems overall, but I hate dealing with the service department. After hours on hold with roadside assistance and several more hours waiting on help to arrive when it wouldn't start (and a jump didn't help), the mechanics were set to abandon me because they couldn't tow my car down the parking ramp. I insisted on pushing the car to where they COULD tow it, which was much easier than they anticipated. Once at the dealer it turned out just to need spark plugs, but they tried to soak me for thousands of $$ saying the engine needs to be rebuilt, etc. And once the car was back with me it was sputtering and nearly stalling out - not something it had done before it died. Thankfully that improved over the weekend, and for now I can avoid a repeat trip to the service department demanding that they check their work.



• Poor customer service - Dec 2008 was a bad month for it. Dealing with a new health insurance company, and calling in to complain about a product - these things are needlessly frustrating. Here's my 1/2 cent on one item: Rain-x windshield wipes - don't bother with them. Still waiting on a refund. My wife wrote about it here. Apparently owned by Shell, which I will now be boycotting out of spite.



• Opinion polls and article comments - Watching the news on Jan 1st, saw them flash up between segments, "Have you already broken your New Year's resolutions? Text "yes" or "no" to ...." WTF?!? Not only was it less than 12 hours into the new year, but please, please, PLEASE tell me how / why that is "news"?! It is getting nauseating how all these "news" sources are reaching out to Joe Six-pack for input. Have you ever read the string of comments on a recent on-line news item? It quickly degenerates into name-calling and comments on spelling - not exactly an intellectual discussion. Even CNN (which I have stopped watching after the election), with Larry King and other "respectable" news anchors and commentators turning to blogs for comments from the peanut gallery - it makes me want to tune out completely. Professional commentators and analysts have earned the right (theoretically) for their opinions to be part of the "news" - for anything else I can surf the net or listen to a designated call-in show.
  

Ok - that's enough for now. This was much longer than intended. But maybe I'll stop flogging some of these topics (even if just in my head). Now off to hit the gym, to vent my frustrations in a healthier way. Happy New Year!! Good luck with any resolutions you've made.

Back to the blog!

Wow - it's been a while since I've even pretended to write anything.
Don't think I have / had much readership anyway... but what do you expect with such sporadic postings? Would be nice to know if any stragglers are still out there - drop me a comment if ya have the time.

Since I started this blog, have had many changes in my life - graduated medical school, relocated to Chicago, started work as a surgical resident, got married, and gained a couple of belt sizes, to name a few - and life is still throwing curves at me. The biggest stress in my life at this point is being jobless. After a hectic two years of residency and frustration over my temporary employment (preliminary residency), I dropped the ball on a disappointing job hunt and had no workplace to call home starting in July '08.

Tried to pick up where I left off on the job hunt back then, ran into some more roadblocks and limited choices, so I dug in my heels and tried to make progress in other areas. Got my third and final component of the licensing exam out of the way, completed paperwork to obtain my license, got back on the wagon of attemping to become more physically fit, and started tossing out decade-old junk in my apartment (I'm an incurable pack-rat, inherited from my dear old dad). Have re-immersed myself in the job hunt two more times, with poor results and depressed spirits. No weight lost with the new exercise routine, but I do feel my endurance is improving at least.

Now I'm back in the market - have two promising leads for jobs starting in July '09... but nothing is at all secured yet, and need something in the meantime or I'll be as good as bankrupt by the time I try to relocate. But moving forward from here. My wife happened to catch sight of a job fair poster, so I'll check that out and see what else comes out in the wash. If nothing else, I'll see about getting "fries with that."

In the meantime, I'm trying to continue cleaning out the apartment (what a slow process), working out as much as I can get motivated for, and spending quantity time (too much?!?) with the wife. In my pseudo-retirement, I let myself get a little overly-involved emotionally with the presidential race, so I am SO GLAD that that is now decided. It has, however, reawakened my passion for some controversial issues - I'll try to address these in upcoming posts.

I will try to keep up a little better with this blog. A while back I had started a second blog to try to document my life as a resident (Dr. Bonzo), so I will keep that one dedicated to medical professional life and (if there is interest) in talking about health issues. This one is more of an online journal, sort of a pop-off valve for my brain and a little window for those who choose to peer in to get to know me better. Hopefully, at the end of the day, it is a little diversion to the grind of life, and maybe even a bit of entertainment.

More to come soon!

Misadventures in Traveling

It almost wasn't going to happen anyway - so maybe I should still be optimistic.

The plan:
Join my wife in Switzerland this weekend, to finally meet the extended family.

The hitch:
I didn't get this month's rotation assigned until the last day of July, so I was unable to pre-arrange for vacation time to fly out overseas.

The miracles:
All the pieces came together at work, and I got my vacation approved for Thursday thru Wednesday. Unfortunately, the deal included starting my vacation while still finishing off my post-call shift (Thursday AM), but if it enabled the timing to work out... it would be worth having only a 6-day vacation with a zombied-out half-day (instead of the usual 7 days). And then not only did I find flights on the days and times I needed, I managed to secure a return-trip on the same flight my wife would be taking back to the States. And the icing on the cake, the price for my late-booked round-trip wasn't anywhere near outrageous.

The procrastination:
So I know I'm heading out to catch a plane on Thursday after being on-call, but by the time I headed in to work on Wednesday I had still not started packing. Par for the course for me. But not too atrocious - my flight out was scheduled to go at 7:30pm, so I *should* have had plenty of time to pack.

The beginning:
Actually started off ok. My night on call was not hellish, and while I did not get much more than 10 minute intervals of sleep, I did manage some shut-eye and felt functional. I was super-efficient at work during the morning, and actually got out of there around 9:30am. Plenty of time to pack, clean house, shower, poop, etc. I was somehow even efficient in packing and straightening up - got more done today than in the whole month my wife was gone.

The wrinkles:
As I am finishing the last little tidbits of packing and cleaning, I notice the sky getting dark outside. Just as I am considering heading out to walk to the "El" station, the heavens open up and Chicago gets a monsoon drenching. Wrinkle #1 - how do I get myself to O'Hare without drenching myself and my luggage? Ok, grab umbrella and walk to the El anyway. Wrinkle #2 - will I have to ditch my umbrella at the airport? Don't think they'll let me carry this spear on the plane. I guess not a big deal - I just never thought of them as "disposable." Wrinkle #3 - I wait a little while for the downpour to slow up, which it does, but now I am cutting into my safety margin for check-in, etc. Wrinkle #4 - what's that "tap, tap, tap" I hear before I head out the door? Oh, yeah - the west-facing window leak that never got fixed. I'm about to leave the apartment for a week, and I'll have a damp dishtowel on the windowsill in hopes of containing the flood and preventing damage to my floor and belongings. Screw it, I don't wanna be late(r).

More wrinkles:
Can't find my CTA pass. No worries, I'll buy a new one. Train pulling away as I start heading up the stairs. No worries, they come pretty frequently, right? Right? Shit ... does the Blue Line come by this station at this time of day, or do I need to take the Pink and transfer? The next train that came was a pink ... but some passengers on my side of the platform did stay behind, so I gambled and won that toss (broke my losing streak there - for a second). Train getting more and more full. I move in a seat and end up with my legs folded on top of my suitcase, with a leg protruding in the space for the seat next to me. "Sorry, no, I cannot move my leg" (as I point to the suitcase). He nods his head like he understands and then proceeds to continue slamming the oversized box on his lap into my right leg. Fun. And then all of a sudden I realize we've been at one of the stations quite a while. "We are experiencing weather-related delays because of the ... weather." The woman over the loudspeaker sounded quite nervous, and despite making the announcement every 5 minutes or so during our 45-minute hiatus, she still never managed to say it quite smoothly.

The train ride was made a touch brighter by the deaf woman that took the seat next to me when box-boy finally left. We had a nice little 'talk' about the weather and our respective trips, with her writing on yellow post-its and my typing back on my cell phone (since she seemed to have trouble reading my writing on her pad).

The catastrophe:
You guessed it - that nasty weather that slowed down our magnificent mass-transit system also caused diversion of many planes headed in to Chicago - such as the plane that would have then been loaded up with me and a bunch of strangers. Instead of noting this, however, the screens indicate that departure will be 1 hour later than expected. At first I breathe a sigh of relief - I'm still somewhat early, but this delay will let me get through security and get settled at the gate without rushing. Or so I thought.

The vein-popping:
Waiting in the queue at the ticketing counter, with about 8 or so other parties there, I start to hear murmurings about "canceled." The guy in front of me and the guy behind me in line appear to know each other, and talk quite extensively, loudly, closely - and with not such pleasant breath - right over my head. I step out of their way and effectively end up cutting in front of the guy, but do so after leaving room for him to advance, and slowly taking his spot when he stays behind to yap. More and more people show up - some filing in behind at the queue, most just milling about on the side of the only apparently-staffed ticket counter. Of course, no staff seem to be around, but this is where a few of the customers were set up when I had gotten into line. Then the most soft-spoken man EVER starts to announce things about the flight, "...working on it ... have patience" - but nothing coherent to me. Like he was just adding to previous details, but not reiterating anything for the rapidly-growing crowd. People start milling about more aggressively, stalking the counter. People rush up onto the scene thinking they are late and missing the flight, having no respect for the queue and effectively mobbing the ticket counters. The gentleman comes back and announces that yes, the flight is canceled - and the chances of arranging alternate flights into Switzerland are increasingly slim, because apparently today was not the first day of canceled flights in, and many other alternates were also canceled today because of the weather. He indicates that the airline will do their best to get people on equivalent flights, some maybe that night but most tomorrow (hopefully!). And then suddenly there are 6 ticket agents - dealing with whomever is in front of their counter. Slowly.

An hour later (no joke) it seems that no one has moved away. More people crowding in, more people between me and these public servants that have no idea how close i feel to snapping.

Finally I get ahold of the customer service number (not posted anywhere, not on my ticket) - but nope, that's actually a phone sex ad. Replace the 1-800 with 1-877 and I DO finally get customer service, and the woman talks around a resolution to my problem three times before i realize she's saying that I'm booked on the equivalent flight tomorrow. Relieved, I step back from the counter and decide to treat myself to some McD's - since it is now after 8pm and I never did have a meal yet today. The joint in the international terminal is of course packed, and - you guessed it - I get in the line that is lapped twice on both sides before I work my way to the register.

But tomorrow is a new day - we'll see how many ways I can screw up trying to leave the country.

:-)

Screwed again?

grrrrrrrrrr.....

recently found out that my little adventure in general surgery over the past year (June 2006 until this coming June) may be a more-or-less wasted year.

the initial goal, since i did not match into my residency of choice as a 4th year medical student (see prior blogs), was to spend this year doing a general surgery internship, which would (in theory) satisfy the "general surgery year" requirement of my residency of choice, ENT. then, as i try to find a permanent residency slot this spring, i could springboard right into a second-year slot if programs with an opening were interesting in hiring me, or i'd have the option of going through the match again, and starting in year-one of the five year program. of course, it would be preferred to not have to repeat year one - because of the workload AND the extra time!!

less than 72 hours ago, however, i was just informed that the accreditation council requirements for first-year slots in ENT require completion of specific rotations, including 4 that i did not get assigned to: neurosurg, emergency medicine, anesthesia, and critical care. although i knew that many (most / all?) ENT programs do make sure their residents get these "core" rotations under their belts, i was never aware that it was a requirement for licensure / board certification. if that really is true, it is a fairly recent change (within the past 2-3 years) - as older residents would share stories with me about how their general surgery year was spent in the dregs of the hospitals' offerings, doing scut work and difficult rotations that the "home" program spared their own categorical general surgery residents.

yeah - this probably doesn't make a lot of sense to anyone not well-versed in the matching / residency process. no worries. i just need to vent about how i've gotten myself screwed (yet again, due in part to poor advising and in part to my lack of initiative in hunting down info that i didn't know i was missing). i'm just sorta pissed off at my residency program, for not being on top of the standards for their prelim residents (interns) and doing all they can to advance their future prospects - as they boast that they are doing all the time. i was even recruited here with the promise that they'd make special accommodation and guarantee me a rotation in ENT ... which is the ONE thing that is NOT required for an ENT first-year resident. of course, it sounded good at the time....

back to the drawing board. at least i'm learning from some of this. hope it's not too late to help someone else out there!!! and the year is not "wasted" - i'm learning a whole lot of gen surg stuff that i might not get at a program with a weaker reputation in surgery. and hey - if the rumors are right, at least i'll be making 2nd-year resident salary when i start at a new place this summer!

ok - sleepy time.

the following week...

i'm finally [mostly] recovered, emotionally and physical, from the hell of last week's matching activities. i've gone through the denial, the anger, the bargaining, and depression, and am mostly toward acceptance of my fate. it's always nice, though, to get messages like this (scramble was on Tues 3/14):

Date: Sun, 19 Mar 2006 20:03:58
Subject: Regrets about the system and our tardiness

Dear [bonzo],

I regret I did not get back to you in time on scramble day. ERAS ~ melted down on us and turned out to be the least good method of gathering information. You would have been an excellent candidate for us. Our loss. I wish you well. We thank you for applying to [this academic center].

Sincerely,

[John Doe], MD
Program Director
[Our academic center]

[note: "ERAS" is the "Electronic Residency Application Service," the software used to apply to residency initially. Some residency programs utilized this also during the scramble.]

it doesn't help that [this academic center] was pretty much my top choice of the "plan B" list, and to see that i could have had a spot there. other offers included Loyola (Chicago) and Wayne State University (Detroit) - but i'm very happy with my choice of Rush.

still never heard from Iowa - and looks like they are still unfilled. figures. now just waiting to hear officially from Rush - to get my contract, and to find out how much i'll be making, etc. need to contact some current residents and get their opinions on places to live....

back in the world of the living ... sorta

yeah.

settled - i'm going with option - was it #2? (hehe - no comments on "number 2" please....) i have booked myself into a PGY1 (post-graduate year 1) general surgery internship at Rush in Chicago. will be interesting to be in the big city. but at least (or just another form of torture?!?) i will be close to family.

next big steps -

• get lady-love back into the country
• find some digs (house/apt to rent for 1 year)
• figure out how to schmooze my way into an oto residency while maintaining credit for the year of internship i'll be in the middle of....

oh, and i guess it would be a good idea to study enough to jump into this program running...!!

in the meantime, "baby steps":

• get HxPxDx grades all tucked in - which of course means more grading, etc.
• ACE my psych shelf exam - that will be at the near-end of april
• go shopping for the first time in nearly a month - my dinner for the past three days has been peanut butter & jelly on a bagel
• throw out all my dirty dishes and invest in styrofoam
• i guess it would be a good idea to do my taxes at some point

and maybe the most daunting task - go through all the SHIT in my apartment and throw stuff out to make it easier to move at the end of may.

yeah.
life IS fun.

peace out,
e

scramblishous

So here's the status / options at this point:

#1 Choice:
1 program left with an open ENT slot - Iowa. (Research track, 7 year program). Dunno when they will decide on that - hopefully early tomorrow, but I am not optimistic.

#2 Choice:
Hooking up with a prelim / intern year general surgery program at a location that happens to have an ENT program as well - so can work toward transitioning into that program for next year. Top candidates now (depending on open slots on Wednesday morning) include Rush in Chicago and Vanderbilt in Nashville. Some other places too - may need to resort to DISTANT places like Pennsylvania, NY, or California. IF they have slots open still by then!!!

#3 Option:
Hook up with any prelim general surgery year I can scramble into, and worry about ENT with next year's applications. I may be accepted as a 2nd year resident, or I may have to repeat an intern year. Dunno what decides that yet.

#4 (last) option:
Plan to delay entering residency for another year. There are myriad things I could be doing in the "downtime" - not gonna bother listing them now. But they include a few things that will make matching next year a piece of cake. Theoretically.

So we'll see what we see. Ugh.

In better news, VISA stuff is "moving along" and the paperwork will be in Malaysia within 1 week. One more / less thing to worry about.....

Life is fun, no?
e

Four Weddings and a Funeral

Woke up this morning to see Bonzo's txt msg on my phone: gotta scramble.

Oh, bugger.

Lemmie translate: All those interviews he attended were part of this elaborate process that ultimately matched 4th year medical students with hospitals/schools where they would do their internships.

I don't know what the (students graduating :internship places) ratio is, but I suppose there will always be cases of some end up not getting "matched" despite going through the elaborate process. So they need to "scramble" for any places that still have open spaces, if any.

Bugger, bugger, bugger.

(If you have the image of Hugh Grant banging his head against a tent pole while muttering those words, from the movie that's the title of this blog post, well, you're on the same track as me :p )

In this case, it seems there are 5 spots open for dunno how many applicants: 1 in west, 1 in midwest / central, and 3 in south (inlcuding puerto rico). Actual locations not available until noon tomorrow. And all he can so is "get on the phone, and wheel-and-deal / send out application materials".

Did I say bugger yet?

Will find out March 16th whether he managed to get a scrambled place, or if we need to go to plan B. or C. or D. or E. :D

Stay tuned.

Bugger.

(NOTE: reposted this back to "u.s. time", i.e. 12hrs earlier than "actual" Malaysian time)

EVENTS and catch-up

it's been far too long since i posted something here. not much time, so this is just quick.

BIG EVENTS lately:

1. my woman went bye-bye - she's back in maRaysia. :,-( apt. is way too quiet, cat is nuts, and i'm gonna have to start doing dishes again.
2. my "rank order list" for the match is submitted and unchangeable. only ranked 5 programs, but hopefully i'll be ok. will find out March 13th if i matched, and (if so) will find out where on March 16th. and will promptly get drunk afterward. might do that on march 13th too - if i'm not stuck scrambling for an unmatched program.
3. delayed taking my USMLE step II computer exam - was booked for today, but 2 days ago (after speaking with staff here - to make sure i can take time off my psych rotation later to sit for exam) - at cost of $100 and > 2 hours playing on computer and speaking with the testing service via phone - i'm rebooked for monday March 6. at least now i'll have a chance to open a book first - assuming i take advantage of the time!! i'm not really bummed about the cost - a mere drop in the bucket compared to the $1,430 to take the exams (computer and skill-station parts). For those that don't yet know - the computer portion of the exam is a 9 hour (yes, nine) 1-day exam. The skill-station part is only offered in 5 cities in the US - i'm scheduled to take that (another full-day exam) in May in Houston (yes, Texas). Fun!
   
4. finally finished (last night) the last big event for the class i'm TA-ing. sorta. they still have one more quiz and their final exam - which i'll have to work more on the huge "review packet" for, and type up exams once i pester the prof enough to provide the questions. and of course in april are the gyne labs, but thankfully the instructor coordinates most of that.
5. monday i start my last core rotation - psychiatry. i've been dreading it, but theoretically it should be a lot of fun. i've been out of the clinics since mid-december, so it's a bit to get used to again.

i think that's most of it, worth mentioning.

i caught up on my woman's blog, and she posted an interesting link (see below chart for link) on "linguistics" .... i took the quiz and here's my result:

Your Linguistic Profile:

75% General American English

10% Upper Midwestern

5% Dixie

5% Midwestern

5% Yankee

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

sorta interesting. :-) check here for lynne's results.

in terms of lynne's return ... we're waiting out the red tape for the fiancee visa. they should BEGIN processing our application at the Nebraska Service Center within the month (knock on wood) - there's of course a backlog. after that processing time, we'll be granted permission for her to apply at her local embassy there for the ACTUAL fiancee visa. another couple of months for that .... i'll keep things posted here as i find out.

most likely lynne will trip in to help me look for a place if/once i match. so maybe end of march? perfect - right in the middle of my psych rotation - i'll need the burst of [in]sanity by then i'm sure. :-)

ok - out! hugs, kisses, and Coke Zero(tm)!
e

btw, how the hell do you do "superscripts" here?!? or don't you.....

GUT reactions

My sphincter was threatening to fail as I rode the bus tonight. The driver made the bus actually hover between taking a right and a left, drawing out my agony at finding out if I was going to have to repeat the episode described in the latest blog below (LOST ... IN ... IOWA ....), or if I would find myself dropped off in comfort a mere 50 feet from my car. It's even colder outside now, by the way.

We just came from the apartment complex I described in that blog ... passing twice (on the way there, and on the way back) the un-mapped park (I think actually called the "Mormon Handcart Park"). I felt queasy with anticipation and revulsion, reliving my experience, the utter frustration mixed with with mild agony and fear. And of course the urge to pee.

To the left, I would have plunged once again into the abyss of unknown destination, of walking in the cold dark. Of hauling my bag, white coat, and change of clothes as I marched forever forward on tired feet, wasting precious time and energy and delaying even more my next chance for a brief respite.

To the right laid salvation, that great concrete oasis with the promise of a rapidly-warming car, comfortable seats, shelter, and rapid transport to my ultimate place of rest (for this month, at least). My personal conduit to transient serenity, sanity, a full night's rest, and overindulgence in comfort foods. (Damn Hershey's "Nuggets"!)

The pit in my stomach continued to rise slowly, as he inched the bus toward the intersection, waiting on ridiculously slow motorists to cross his path. He floated toward the left, cut back to the right, edged left, and leaned to the right. All in a mere matter of inches as the bus rolls.

To the right, or the left? Did he hang a Ralph, or a Louie?

The Lady, or the Tiger?

LOST ... IN ... IOWA ....

So ... a little background:

I'm doing an elective rotation at the "other" U of I (University of Iowa) ... normally I'm a medical student at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. The places are somewhat similar, once you get past the yellow-black (Hawkeye) instead of orange-blue (Illini) color scheme. They have a decent bus service, which they need because parking is a bear.

On my first day here, I had to drive in to the hospital (instead of walking 30 minutes in the rain), and to park nearby had to pay $12 for their parking garage. I'm here for 4 weeks, and I'd rather not pay rent for my car almost equivalent to my own rent for the month. The options are sparse, with all sorts of restrictions by the University on which lots they can offer to people that live within the city, as opposed to people that commute in to work from nearby cities. They actually refused me a spot completely, since I was not interested in something for the whole semester, and am living "too close" to the hospital. How a 30-minute walk translates to "too close" MUST involve some sort of logic about the local bus service, which of course doesn't start running until after 6 am.

Upon turning to the hospital for a solution, they happily offered-up a spot in one of these commuter lots I mentioned above. Of course, it is so far from the hospital that they offer bus service to-and-fro. Fortunately, it even runs during the times I need it (as opposed to the local bus service in the city) - to get me to the hospital before 5:30 am and to get me back to my car as late as midnight (at times!).

---

Here's the set-up:

Friday was my first time taking advantage of this commuter lot (which they so creatively call "Hawkeye Commuter / Storage Lot" - storage because that is where students who drive up for the semester are forced to leave their vehicles). I find my way there and park next to a little hut that resembles a bus stop. All around, for as far as I can see in the dark before the dawn, is a huge-ass parking lot and this little hut that resembles a bus stop. As I'm checking it out, a bus actually drives up to this little hut. Ah, all is well.

I get to the hospital in about 5 minutes, and actually made it to the floor in time to see patients before rounds. A *bit* of a miracle there. So far so good. The day actually proceeded ok, as I went from case to case in the OR instead of drudging through yet another day of clinic. It actually looks as though I may be out of there before 5 pm! Ah, but alas - as a "sub-intern" hoping to attend this school, my role is as much to make an impression on the staff and give them an opportunity to get to know me as it is to learn and get exposure to the field. I do one last sweep through the OR and find a case about to start. Shucks. It was with one of my favorite docs, and it was to be a short case, so I didn't mind too much.

The case drags on, of course, about 2-3x longer than it should have been. I'm still out of there just after 8, so I am a happy camper. I leisurely head down to the floor and gather my belongings from the resident's workroom, and stroll out to where the bus should pick me up.

---

OK, now the story...

I get down to the bus stop and it is COMPLETELY DESERTED. Oookaaaay... I guess these buses run like every 10 minutes. No big deal. Let's look at the posted schedule, eh?

Oops. They DO run every 15 minutes, during "normal" times. Which I have, of course, missed. After 6:30 pm, it seems to revert to every half-hour. (All this I am figuring out after-the-fact, by the way, since the posted schedule reads a bit like tax instructions.) So when is the bus due? 8:21. What time is it now? 8:23. Sweeeeeet.

Ok, I can wait around 28 minutes. I debated walking home (28 minutes in the other direction), but that would require somehow getting to that lot to get my car anyway at a later date. I decide to wait it out, especially to make sure my car is still there and not ticketed for somehow parking in the wrong place. I do a little text messaging, I look at the route maps and schedules another 15-20 times. I consider going back into the hospital to take a leak, but figure I might get lucky with a bus coming off-schedule / early. Besides, I really don't have to go badly, since I've probably lost about 5 pounds in water weight during the last week and haven't put much in to make up for it. (My liquid intake averages about 2-3 cans of pop a day, and maybe a swig of water in the AM.)

A few random buses come and go, getting my hopes up, but all going in the wrong direction. I consider hopping the bus downtown, which gets me to within a 10-minute walk of the room I'm renting, but yet again I'm left with the prospect of still getting back to the car. I wait more. It's a bit brisk outside, being Iowa in late October... but not so cold that I would put my burdensome white coat on over my scrub top.

The bus finally comes. Oh look, right on time! Figures. Within seconds the driver is heading off to the commuter lot.

As we approach the lot, I notice he turns down a different road (Mormon Trek Boulevard, how's that for a landmark in Iowa?!?) than the way I entered the lot that morning, but I'm not alarmed since we had left the lot from a different direction that morning as well, and I knew that Mormon Trek was an alternate. There are about 7 of us on the bus at this point.

He drives through a series of convoluted turns toward (I think?) the lot, barely missing going up on the curb several times on the LEFT hand side (you, know, where you expect oncoming traffic to be coming from, if you don't live in Malaysia or Britain). Nothing looks familiar as he comes to a stop, and all but 2 other people disembark. I look out into the dark at the mini apartment buildings we're near, and then ask him if he makes another stop in this area. He says yes. I breathe a sigh of relief and sit back down.

He proceeds to drive about 100 feet, and stops again. "Is this the last stop?" I ask him. "Yes, now I go back to the hospital," he states very matter-of-factly. Hmmmmm....

I disembark, and see I'm now on the other side of a square that is surrounded on all sides by mini apartment buildings. This is not a huge empty parking lot, bordered by other not-so-empty parking lots. This is an apartment complex. Ooookaaayyyy... I figure I'll check out the name of the road we're on, glance at my map, and then just hoof it to the lot. Can't be too far, right?

The road sign, it says "561-587" or something like that. That's funny, it doesn't sound like the name of a road. Ok, I'll just head down some sort of main road and eventually figure out where I am. Which way did the bus go? Oh, wait - that's right - I didn't see it 'cause I was too busy trying to look like I wasn't lost until I had a chance to look at my map in relative privacy, in the middle of an apartment complex in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere. In the middle of October. I put on my coat.

Roads seem to go off in all directions, at least from what I can see in the darkness. No problem - I'll just look for that collection of tall street lights that marks off a parking lot. Uh, yeah - easier said than done among all these damn trees. Crap! Lets look at the map again ... yup, I know I'm in one of two places... there are two groups of apartment complexes indicated on the map. They are, of course, in opposite directions from the lot I need to get to. Not that it matters, since I have no FRIGGIN' clue where I am or what I'm heading toward anyway. I flip a mental coin and start walking, all the while imagining that coin circling the drain. **EXPLICATIVES DELETED**

Ah, a main "road." I walk toward it. Ooh, look - a sign! "Mormon Trail Park" - wait, that's not on the map at all! How does that help me?!? I pass a sign facing the other way, and my suspicion is confirmed - I've just come from "Hawkeye Court Apartments." That IS on the map. It's about as far from the commuter lot as I can get, but at least I have regained a glimmer of hope that I'll find my way outta this mess.

I start the timer on my watch (for S's & G's - "shits and giggles"), as has been my habit lately, to see just how pissed I should get about my walk. It's pretty deserted throughout. As I progress I see collections of tall streetlights, only to see them spread out along the road. These are not in a parking lot. Despite being pitch black out there, I'm seeing far more of Iowa than I ever hoped for. I've got some low-grade urgency to pee building up, but thankfully I'm too seething mad to pay any attention to it. I keep tramping along, realizing at some point that at least I have stopped muttering and swearing under my breath. That's a good thing, as I trudged past some foreign students playing soccer (I assume) on an unlit field that was part of the sports complex I ended up passing. For the most part I was alone - which didn't bother me much, given that there was decent enough lighting, and I was in Iowa - I would have been more worried if I was in a real urban area and if I was a woman. But I guess that's a whole 'nother blog. :-P

Eventually, on the horizon, is the TRULY unmistakable conglomeration of lights of a parking lot. Along with a car every now and then. Goody, now I can switch my focus to wondering which end of the parking lot I'd find myself on, and how many little huts I'd come upon to search for my car next to. And here's me, not even technologically-advanced enough (or just too cheap?) to have a remote keychain, to get my lights to flash and horn to honk to beckon me.

By some stroke of luck, the first (and still only, to my knowledge) little hut WAS the one I parked near. That part of the lot contained only a smattering of cars, and I recognized my car's butt long before I could read the license plate. As I started to make a bee-line for it, another car pulls up one slot away from mine, and a young woman gets out and opens her hood. Keep in mind, I'm still on the periphery of the parking lot. My thoughts were, in approximate order:

1. that's sorta weird, at this time of night, in this location
   
2. wonder what the trouble is
   
3. should i offer to help?
   
4. well, this is sorta awkward, appearing like i'm headed straight for her
   
5. oh, geez - i hope she doesn't think i'm a rapist or something!!
   
   By the time I was within shouting distance of my car, another person had appeared from the car. A guy.
   
   
6. that's good, at least she's not alone
   
7. he looks like a pretty big guy
   
8. oh geez - i hope he doesn't think i'm a rapist or something!!

Long before I reach my car, I start digging for my keys - which is pretty damn awkward when one hand is otherwise occupied (with the ripping plastic bag of spare clothes, including shoes, in case I got drafted into clinic instead of the OR during the day), and the keys are buried in a breast pocket under a notepad, reference book, coins, tuning fork, pen, etc. Eventually I gave up on the keys, but did everything else in my power to give the impression I was heading toward my car, and not them. Once I got there it still took me suspiciously long to dig my keys out, but I think actually getting the door open and driving the car away made it convincing that THAT was the target of my walk.

It was just over 10 minutes from the time I was thinking straight enough to bother timing the walk until I got to the car. Of course, that consisted of angry strides in cold weather, lubricated by an urge to pee. In other words, I was probably walking a smidge faster than usual.

---

To sum up and conclude...

Yeah, ok, not a big deal. Just a dumb visitor in a podunk town, who wasn't familiar enough with the bus route and too proud to ask the bus driver about the lot position. It was uneventful overall, with the only real "misfortune" being my lost time. Not like I even had anything else planned for the evening. But when you're stuck doing something you never wanted to do in the first place, and it's taking longer than you EVER wanted, you really appreciate the value of your time more. Just one more reason for me to be so verbose in this blog entry - to give you, the READER, a taste of what I went through. You can thank me as you post a comment. :-P

On the plus side, I did discover a nearby strip of shopping including the all-important McDonald's and the good-to-know KFC, previously unknown to me in this vicinity, as I explored a bit on my way home. Nice to know there are more options for quick eats for us health-conscious types.

I'm due at the hospital tomorrow (Sunday) morning, and upon looking at the info sheet just now it looks like the bus doesn't even run on the weekends. Glad I bothered looking! At least it shouldn't be for too long ... I may as well pay for the garage. Then I'll go check out that lot in DAYLIGHT for the first time. Yeah, yeah - that's the ticket.

Spent way too long writing this, but it was semi-therapeutic. What this blog lacks in number of posts I'll likely end up making up for in length. Will that correspond to quality instead of quantity? NOT LIKELY. . . .

I don't envy....

the life of a medical resident. wow. i'm here at washington university in st. louis, missouri, about to start my 4th and last week of a sub-internship in otolaryngology (ENT - ear, nose, and throat) and head & neck surgery. i am applying to enter residency in ENT in 2006. a nice additional 5 years to my already extended education.

residents are SO busy! sleep and eating become optional. at least i'll be able to drop some pounds then, maybe.

wish me luck!

soon i jump over to iowa city for another crack at this sub-internship thing (to make sure i like the field, and to see what things are like in that program). then back to lovely shampoo-banana to spend precious moments with my fianceE before she heads off to her homeland once again. i love bureaucratic nonsense with immigration etc.

love and kisses,
e

Never too young for Alzheimer's

less than six months ago i opened up this blog... and i won't bore you with the difficulties i had in gaining access to it again just now. needless to say, i apologize to user "bonzo" for flooding his/her mailbox with password reminder requests. apparently "username" and the name for logging in are different despite being termed the same on this site.

i need a vacation. coming soon, assuming i can pass my exam on wednesday. if wednesday ever comes - as far as i'm concerned, yesterday, today, and tomorrow are sunday. gonna be a shock to my system as tuesday rings in with my alarm clock in 9 hours. potentially my last day with "hardass preceptor" ... been a good wake-up, i guess - but still not fun, nonetheless.

ok, boys and girls. maybe i'll actually use this site "fairly" regularly in the coming months as i venture away from my little oasis here in central illinois. time to get out and smell manure from other farms. "GENIOUS!"

"LATERS!"
'bonz

About me - updated December 2009

I am a thirty-something surgery resident. Married for a couple of years now, waiting on having kids until my wife and I are a bit more settled in our new town. Without the responsibilities of parenthood, I often still feel like I'm 12 years old - until my breaking-down body reminds me otherwise.

Currently living in Springfield, IL, with family in northern Illinois. I grew up in the northwest suburbs of Chicago, went to the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign for college and medical school, and did a couple years of surgery residency in Chicago. Now I'm continuing my training here at SIU.

Live with my wife and cat - who spend their time ignoring each other fairly effectively. The kitty is featured prominently in the header above. My wife is more camera shy.

I started this blog mostly on a whim, but since then it has transformed into a personal soapbox for ranting about crazy news stories, politics, and irritating behavior. Then it got promptly forgotten when work kicked up again. I do hope to keep up with it a little better for those items, as well as for reviewing books and movies I have found interesting. Books and movie review content will be hosted in other forums (goodreads and Rotten Tomatoes), but I will periodically post updates on this blog to notify of new items.

So - that's all I'll ramble about for now. As you can tell, I am often unfortunately verbose... but I mean well. Happy reading, and please drop me a line to let me know you stopped by, and/or give me feedback or topic suggestions. I thrill at the prospect of debate - so let me know when you disagree as well!!