Life gets in the way...

Sorry this blog has been so inactive. Had a lot to say, and then once I got started on Facebook I left most of it there. Not exactly a forum for enriching discussion, but was able to vent most of what I needed. A little more conducive than some other sites that limit to, say, 140 characters. But definitely the wrong place for a manifesto (although I will link it there).

So I am dusting off the ol' blog in anticipation of a post on "gun control." Which I will at least start drafting today, and maybe even get published if it's ready. This is just one of the many heated topics of the day that are so frustrating and I wanted to give a thorough working over to.

Unfortunately, married life with a demanding job, a pet, and even minimal hobbies / interests doesn't leave much time for things like blogging creatively (at least for me - some of the bloggers I have followed seem to balance a lot more on their plates AND run very active and well-written blogs). Add-in the terrific news that I am now a father of two, and that both kids are still under two years old, and I pretty much gave up on the idea of maintaining a blog. [I'll spare you pictures and further gushery here for now - those who know me have already seen them on Facebook or live, or should get your ass on Facebook (hint, this means YOU, MOM!) because of how amazingly simple it makes keeping up with both close and distant friends and their families.]

But just when I thing I'm out, they drag me back in. "Gun control" will be the next big topic I address, and in future months if I can muster enough time and motivation I'll try to keep knocking down my little list of "big debate" issues that have congealed into simple "right or wrong" issues to me, to see if it can help others or at least stimulate a more fruitful debate. Keep reading, my friends.

Bachelorhood, revisited - again

One more time now, this 30-something white boy has been left to his own devices while the wife is off globe-trotting. The last time, my grand plans got derailed by injury, sloth, travel, and pointless political grand-standing. This time around, I am actually gainfully employed, so I limited my ambitions on what I would achieve while she was gone. Until yesterday I was also stuck on the night shift, which meant that all of my time off-work was poorly divided among food, sleep, and de-stressing. And dealing with the cat. My exploits are fairly-well documented here, so I won't rehash much now.


The cat has been quite lonely, and we've been having some good bonding time during her not-so-freaky moments. Here's a pic of her catching some zzz's with me - see if you can find "waldo" amongst the camouflage that is "her" blanket:



Rarely, she assumes a pose that never fails to amuse me - I finally managed to capture this to show you "SuperKitty"!



Besides being my lone companion, she has acted as an instigator in pushing me to get one or two things done already. Prior to the wife's departure we finally managed to pick up a bike for me, but outside of the 10-mile ride home from the store, I had yet to touch it. Under her "careful supervision,"



I finally managed to get the bike in ride-able condition while giving her some outside time. In the past she has been pretty content to stretch out on a concrete porch and enjoy nature a bit, and didn't tend to wander off. Now that she has tasted a bit of freedom at this new(ish) apartment on the ground floor, she has started exploring a bit too freely and keeps expecting to get let out now. Not such a good idea for an indoor cat (no front claws) who keeps hissing at the mere appearance of our neighborhood strays and semi-strays.

Yesterday I finally hopped on the bike for my first time for a local trip - to grab some Chinese food as a reward for having finished my stint on "night float." It has confirmed one unfortunate fact: I am really out of shape. Back in the good ol' days of college, I biked all over campus. Now that I'm back in a reasonably-sized town, I plan to resume that habit and use the bike to get to work, the gym, and nearby shopping. The wife is even finally willing to try out the saddle, so we have hopes of this new joint activity helping us to lose some weight and live a bit greener. Now to actually USE the bike to get to these places ... that's a pattern I hope to start in the immediate future.

Some other "accomplishables" while the boss is gone:

• at least one round of laundry and dishes - I'm not quite bad enough to just buy more stuff to tide me over, although the thought does keep recurring to me.
• cleaning up kitty puke - I'm getting tired of sashaying around the three spots in the hall that kitty has chosen to decorate.
• cleaning the litterbox - as kitty's recent habit of peeing outside the box DOES seem to have resolved after the antibiotics (likely a UTI, not solely a misbehavior), I would like to hose it out and change out the litter to reduce her chances of repeat performances.
• cleaning the bathroom - thoroughly. As if our own wear-and-tear in there isn't enough, it happens to be where the litterbox resides. All the dust and litter-litter that escapes the box has been tracked around in there for ... far too long to actually divulge.
• shopping - need to replenish the stock of essential items like peanut butter, jelly, eggs - the stuff even I can't screw up too badly to keep my stomach full.
  
• reading for work - I've been far too sporadic, I need to set up a pattern of daily reading even if it's only a page or two.
• scrap-booking - amongst the crap I've dragged from apartment to apartment are boxes of items to pour through and harvest for memorabilia. I vowed to the wife that I'd address this collection before moving all those extra boxes YET AGAIN, so hopefully I can make a bit of progress to get us on track for a new place in the late fall.

That's probably enough to work on for today, my last definite day off for a while. Especially since I'm already burning several hours by writing this drivel, and cutting into my sleep time prior to starting the day. At least taxes are done (and not too much after the deadline!) - although I'll be happier once the refunds are in my account.

Miscellaneous stuff for today as well:

• Catch-up on some administrative stuff for work (hours, journal club)
• Finish paying bills
• Relax with a netflix movie the wife doesn't wanna catch (in this case, G.I. Joe)

Something tells me that the netflix one is gonna get falsely-elevated to highest priority. To thine own self be true!!

Spring Cleaning

Haven't gotten to the real productive stuff yet - going through the umpteen boxes of crap that have been dragged through the last 3-4 moves, besides the actual deep cleaning the apartment needs so badly. But my face did it's own version, and shed the beard that has kept my face warm through the winter and - well, the last probably 12 years since I last bared all my facial skin. Did a goatee-thing several years back, but even that is self-defeating when a major reason for maintaining the beard is to avoid the chore of shaving.

Now, despite being mid-30-something, I have been called "babyface" and still can't quite identify fully with the face in the mirror. I guess the beard is gonna have to stay. Then again, I can't really identify with the increasing amount of cranium reflecting back the mirror's reflection - and I have no intention to carpet that or apply chemicals in a vain attempt to look younger. I guess I can just shave the beard again if that urge strikes. :-)

Sorry for the fluff piece - work has been too busy and draining to do any quality ranting. I'll take a hiatus and maybe post a few pics for a while. Check back soon, leave me comments here on the blog, or harass me on facebook. And check out the music section above - updated that as well.

C.R.A.P.py wednesday

Catch-up Rants And Platitudes - #9

yesterday,
this "kitty flu" seemed so far awa-ay-ay,
now it looks as if it's here to stay,
o-o-oh, how i wish i could shake it today...

Sorry, I don't like to whine about my health here - especially two posts in a row, but this really hit me outta nowhere and finally seemed to be nearly gone yesterday. Then I start again with the sneezing, coughing - it's moved into my airway and is hanging tight. Oh, well - breathing is over-rated anyway.

The job hunt

Ups, downs, and crevasses so deep that light cannot penetrate. It's amazing how varied places are about whether or not they even reply to inquiries. And how. Some take weeks before they respond and then give you a name to retry with, others forward your materials and send you info back by the next day. I expected research positions to be available at a dime a dozen, but these are as difficult to scare up as residency spots. I have broken out of my box and started applying for other related positions as well. I can't believe that I cannot scare up a "training position," but I have a solid bite on a "medical director" position DESPITE my repeated emphasis on my lack of experience. That will be an interesting pursuit....

All the proper "official" training programs seem to be sopped up for now - although last-minute cancellations could swing something in my favor. In the meantime the most promising lead (which I still don't have enough info on yet) is a somewhat-equivalent training position to what I have been seeking, but for only 1 year, at an un-accredited program in a hospital that will be hell to work at (but a good educational experience).

The rest of my life

Just as I am ready to step back and see what spins from the job hunt, another set of hoops presents itself. I feel so back-logged in my other endeavors. I actually took a full week off from my volunteering activities but I'm still just treading water. Part of the whole frustration is about finding a new place to live, but since I could just as easily be moving to Ohio or Colorado vs. staying right here in Chicago, it's hard to get serious about packing and choosing some new digs. But I desperately need to do so - this place is bleeding me nearly double what I should be spending.

That "pack rat" gene isn't helping either - still have TONS of crap to go through and toss (or sell - dumped several boxes of old books, and made about $50 on the deal too!), nevermind the reading I should be doing to stay current. Exercise and keeping up on news keep getting shifted to the back-burner as well.

Politics

Again, have been on hiatus about serious topics, but hoping to get back into it soon. Was as amused as ever to see the opposite reactions to Obama's Middle East speech - with the neocons and right-wingers calling it an apology tour, and the rational Americans applauding his moves toward building unity on the national stage. Would be nice to see some positive changes over there, and I think we have a real chance... if other people and events don't screw things up. These reporters held prisoner in North Korea - hopefully the "leverage" that situation is creating can be resolved in a peaceful manner.

Glad to see that the gay marriage issue is slowly swinging the right direction - what are we at now, 6 states that have legalized it? When is "Don't ask, don't tell" gonna get the ax then? I know there are other priorities out there, but this is causing problems with availability of translators in the military, and should be a welcomed relief for our already-overused service people to get more personnel over there.

Movies

Have yet to get out to see Star Trek, but hopefully I can make that happen next week. In the meantime, have managed to sneak in some views of newer DVD releases, so I'll try to get some reviews up soon. Rotten Tomatoes seems to have overhauled the site nicely - I'll have to update my sidebar links, and will point you in that direction when I've got something to show there.

In the meantime, back to my unscheduled grind - hope to have some good news soon!

Feline influenza

So yesterday I was hanging around the apartment, and decided to nuzzle the kitty 'cause she looked so cute curled up on the back of the couch. As I brought my face down to her level, almost on cue, she sneezed right in my face. I was momentarily disturbed by that fact, and it gave my wife a good laugh, but otherwise I didn't give it a second thought. Later, poor kitty had some gastronomic upset(*) outta both ends - again, not something all that rare, so I didn't linger on that fact much.

Then about the time I finally got around to cleaning up her messes, it finally struck me why the day seemed to be progressing in slow-motion. I was getting sick! Headache, sore throat ... maybe I caught something from the little petri dishes (**) I came into contact with recently. Overnight I rapidly advanced to chills, full-body aching, and nearer the morning I started burning up. This was no mere "bug" I had caught - this was a new breed of microbe I cooked up thanks to my cat and attempting to be "cultured" by visiting a museum. Now they'll have to take cultures of ME, patient zero. Will "kitty flu" be the new pandemic?!?

The good news I am feeling a little better already today - the sore throat is receding some instead of getting worse, and I don't believe there was any sign of fever this morning. Now if I could just burn off this brain-fog, shake the headache, and lose the body aches....


In the meantime, both kitty and I are taking it easy today. And the wife wisely escaped for a while.


* dunno why i'm feeling so euphemistic, but go with it and be glad i'm sparing you the details.

** on Thursday I finally got to meet a buddy's kids - one about 4 years old, one about 6 months. I'm always surprised at just how much drool these little ones can produce. Then on Friday we took advantage of a "free day" at the Museum of Science and Industry, which was teeming with screaming rugrats and only a fraction of the interesting exhibits I was expecting / remembering. Translation - skip it unless you are bringing your own kids and are VERY PATIENT.

Welcome to the neighborhood

Welcome to the new digs of "Bonzophrenia"!

I started this blog back in '05, but never did much to make it more appealing visually or to generate much traffic. In the process of making it over, I decided to move it to a more appropriate domain name - which also gave me the opportunity to start from scratch in the sense of blog design and utilization.

The old site was pretty much cookie-cutter from "Blogger / Blogspot." With this new template, I have much more flexibility. Plus it really shows off the header collage, which was quite the project in and of itself. Thanks, wif!! Hope the overall effect isn't too distracting or nauseating....

I hope to entertain with this blog, as well as stimulate thought and discussion, maybe even debate. Please feel free to comment and leave suggestions. Lurkers - that means you too!

I'll celebrate the launch of the new site with a self-portrait of sorts ... thanks to kapgar for the link to this "mini-mizer" / lego avatar:



No, I'm not in the nuclear industry, but at least the mindset expressed above is about on-target for me. Had used the steam tower image in a previous post - unfortunate that the second tower makes it look like lego-me's head is gassy ... or maybe a better commentary?!?

Happy surfing, and please drop me a line! What do you think of the new site? And any guesses at a hidden meaning or two in the title of this post?

Hugs, kisses, and coffee enemas,
Bonz'

C.R.A.P. Sunday - Movie Madness

Catch-up Rants And Platitudes - #7 - Movie Madness edition

Still haven't quite finished up with the major overhaul of this blog, but I have finally set myself up another little corner of cyberspace to start building up a set of movie reviews. After a little searching, I finally settled on Rotten Tomatoes, which looks like it should be easy for anyone to surf through, even without registering as a member.

I'm a big movie fan, and I've found many "hidden gems" via suggestions from friends and acquaintances, some via blogs. I've been hedging on doing movie reviews at this site, because I wanted a more dedicated approach, with easy-to-follow ratings and quick links to more info. Found that at Rotten Tomatoes, although I am still just trying out the site - there seem to be a few bugs, but for now you can click here to get to my journal page. You can also check out other (literally random) movies I have rated, and lists of movies I plan to check out soon. So far I have only reviewed one recently watched movie, Burn After Reading - which I enjoyed but only rated at 6/10. Read the review to see why and let me know what you think. As I review more I'll drop notes here. If you are a member of Rotten Tomatoes, lemme know and we can link up.

Idiocracy

As I promised earlier, here finally is part of that clip from the 2006 Mike Judge movie Idiocracy that I made reference to.

The intro is great - talking about the dumbing-down of society. The more I pay attention to the news, the more worried I am that it is coming true. The clip below runs less than 2 minutes (despite the title) - this truncated clip is unfortunately all I could find. At least it gives you the flavor of the concept. In the film it goes on a bit longer and really magnifies the impact of the situation.

Intro clip from Idiocracy | Movies & TV | SPIKE.com

I wouldn't rave about the movie - there are a lot of stupid parts - but it does have some interesting things to say about the direction of our society, and it is entertaining at that juvenile level.

Consider this next clip a bonus - it's very short, but has a special place in my heart for reasons I haven't quite figured out. Maybe it is better seen in context....

News

I have been giving myself a little break from keeping up with the news - other things going on. I'm sure I'll have a slew of C.R.A.P. to talk about later this week.

Volunteering

One of those things going on has been some volunteer work. I finally got off my ass and started working with a couple of groups now that the job hunt has slowed down to an unbearable crawl. Ugh. Anyway, as things develop there I'll write more.

Sunshine

In between some of these "April showers" we have finally gotten some stretches of sun in Chicagoland. Been LONG overdue. We're still getting 40-degree fluctuations in temperature each day, but it's much better than trudging through six inches of snow or wading through the humid air in August.

I'm out for now. Get out there and enjoy the weather while ya can!!

C.R.A.P. Sunday - Bonzo's Ladder, pt 2

Catch-up Rants And Platitudes - #5 - unreality

So for those who weren't sure (yes, my wif, you had it right) - the title relates to the movie Jacob's Ladder, a very interesting and disturbing movie from 1990 with Tim Robbins. Without giving any spoilers here, let me just say it is a glimpse into a man's mind who is torn between the reality of his current life, and the reality of his experiences in Vietnam. [That is a grossly inadequate summary, and the movie is not *about* Vietnam - it's definitely a good watch even if you are put off by war movies.] It also happens to include an early, not-yet-annoying appearance by Macaulay Culkin (uncredited).

I'm just borrowing the term to launch into this general feeling of unreality that has been building lately. It's not quite the same as navigating around in thick fog, where things are familiar but notably "off" in some fashion - but that gives you a taste of the sensation. Nor is it the same as the internal fog from being sick. I am just getting over a week of pretty nasty cold, likely courtesy of an overseas infant niece that I didn't even have the privilege to meet first-hand. That brain-fog of thinking through molasses, that's a whole different kind of unreality. But mix the two ... wow. Interesting times.

So - sorry for not having blogged much recently. Have been planning a bigger overhaul of this site, and lots of topics being drafted a bit... please stay tuned. In the meantime, lots of "achievables" I'm working on the real world, so we'll see how much energy I have left for the blogosphere. I *am* keeping up with postings on my blog list (on right side of page, near bottom) - if you are reading here and I haven't added you yet, please send me the link to your blog so I can add ya.

On to the rants....

Driving - it really isn't that hard. Why do people continue to ignore basic courtesies?!? And why does traffic always slow down in the same places on the expressway when there is no real traffic jam or other justifications for delays?

• Use your turn signals for changing lanes (AND - imagine that - for turns!) When people know where you are going, we can stay out of your way better.
  
• Use the left lane for passing, then get back into the other lanes until you need to pass again. Stop holding up traffic because you *might* need to pass another car 10 minutes further up.
  
• Try to change lanes to move away from stopped cars on the right (or left) shoulder, or upcoming merges. Best to avoid the chances of two cars trying to occupy the same space at the same time.
  
• Along those same lines, stop tailgating me!! I pretty much go as fast as I can safely do in traffic, but I believe in at least a car-length of space (when available) for emergency braking distance. Driving up my ass won't make my car go any faster, and just increases the possibility of us trying to be in the same place at the same time. And when that happens, I'll bet you are un- or under-insured.
  
• If you are going to insist on putting on make-up, talking on the phone, eating, reading, playing with the radio, and wrangling kids or pets ALL AT THE SAME TIME, please at least be a competent driver and know where you are going first. So many near-misses, and vigilance on my part will only stave off an accident for so long....

Parenting - I don't claim to be an expert, nor do I feel uniquely qualified to offer actual advice. Quite the contrary, I readily admit that I am not yet a parent (although I hope to be in the next year or two, and will keep practicing attempts at conception when opportunities present). ;-) However, I have reflected extensively on my own upbringing (which was relatively successful - I stayed out of trouble and can function well in society), and have been an observer and sometimes-participant in my nephews' upbringing for the last 11 years. I understand it can be frustrating, and that some kids can be very strong-willed.

I was nearly floored, however, when I was an incidental bystander to the following exchange near a busy, local grocery store. Please tell me - what is possibly served by yelling "give me your motherfu**ing hand" at a 2.5 year old child while you and she are already walking through the middle of the high-traffic drive at the front of the parking lot?

• Use some foresight, and maybe have your child's hand before you step into the street? Consider making that STANDARD, for safety's sake, that any mobile toddler is taught to hold an adult's hand before even thinking about traversing a parking lot?
  
• Maybe temper the language? What are you teaching your kid? They are sponges, and will use language like that when you least want it.
  
• Of course, the type of person that would verbally abuse their child like that in public, because they were too distracted to have control of their child in advance, is unlikely to care about prevention - and will just react when bad language / misbehavior crops up - in most assuredly appropriate ways, I'm sure.

I just keep hearing about all these crimes against kids: how Chicago already has a record number of school-aged children murdered for this point in 2009; the several suicides of GRADE SCHOOL-aged kids; the abuse (sexual or physical) of these kids, some by their classmates (- further than the simple bullying most of us experienced in our pasts), or members of their family. It's just sad, and these experiences are just more likely to propagate a cycle of abuse.

Ok. Sleepytime.

Bachelorhood Journal, Day 4

Things were nice and quiet at first, a pleasant change of pace around the apartment. Then it got oddly noisy, and I realized that my cat was becoming more and more vocal. Traced back the source of her consternation, and realized that her magic food bowl was no longer magic - it was empty! Imagine that.... So I decided to take stock of other changes around here.

#1 - i feel kinda weird. i think i'm developing a sort of oily layer. i may have to break down today and investigate the curtained-off area of the bathroom to figure out what that is for.

#2 - my teeth are growing fur. maybe that bristly-thingy hanging over the bathroom sink could help reverse this process. will have to give it a try at least.

#3 - running out of spoons. and room in the sink. and clean table space. very odd.

#4 - strange odor around apartment. can't quite nail it down - could be coming from litterbox, sink, or table. perhaps the garbage. or maybe secondary to items #1 or #2. that cat still hangs around me, so can't be too offensive. right?

Meanwhile, I think I have finally had my fill of peanut butter. Will have to investigate other edibles around the house. It has been sorta nice to always find things where I leave them, but not enough of a trade-off having to deal with #3 above.

Ok, well back to pretending to be productive. Might have to make that list of projects soon. At least my back isn't getting any worse (for now).

Bachelorhood, Revisted

Oh, I had such high hopes for the next several weeks. While the wife is away, the mouse was fully intending to play. I even made the sacrifice of NOT creating a list of the things I wanted to accomplish in my maelstrom of activity, hoping to fly from project to project as whim drew me. [After about 3 or 4 days I was likely to break down and spend a solid 2-3 days drawing up a list, revising it, prioritizing projects, and shuffling papers on my desk anyway.]

But no ... even before I could get out of the gate I have been derailed in a ridiculous way. Secondary to being hit by a car over 12 years ago, I have a mildly screwed-up back. As long as I am careful with lifting and watch my posture, don't sleep in funky positions, etc. - it's really not a problem. Until that frickin' exercise DVD. I won't go into details here - suffice to say that trying to combine a shoulder press with a deeper-than-I-had-tried-recently deep knee bend was a baaaaad idea.

Now I've thrown out my back before, from staying in an awkward position too long in the operating room, or even from sneezing too forcefully. Usually I walk funny for a day or two, but can get back to normal fairly rapidly and even function pretty well throughout - other than the funny walking. This time, ugh - the back pain has been so persistent that I had been really crooked in my posture. So much so, that a couple of days later a whole 'nother group of muscles went into spasm - I guess from overcompensation. And then I aggravated all that by helping my wife haul the laundry around. Thankfully she refused to let me carry her suitcases around too much.

Got her to the airport yesterday, came back and pretty much crashed out on the couch. Today also crashed out on the couch ... hopefully after a solid night's rest I'll be able to tackle some of the cleaning and sorting and extended sessions tackling e-mail and other posture-intensive activities. I did manage some pseudo-productivity - cleared some movies from our netflix queue that my wife was less than enthusiastic to view with me. For good reason. :-)

In the meantime, I'm back to all the trappings of bachelorhood (messy apartment, grooming activities considered "optional," diet unsupervised, tv on 25 hours / day) without the hoped-for benefits - like normal mobility and a modicum of energy. I'll give it another day or two - then I'll try for some better living through pharmacology. MMMmmmmmm, muscle relaxers. *Drooool*

C.R.A.P. Sunday - Groundhog edition

Catch-up Rants And Platitudes - #2 - a brief look at recent news items, etc.

[I realize this is officially posting on Monday - getting something in just before, at, or after the deadline is sorta a specialty of mine.] So had my interview on the East Coast this past week - travel went pretty smoothly, and the interview itself not too bad. Unfortunately, up against three other very well qualified candidates, and did not feel any strong "good vibes" with any of the faculty. Called in a favor with a former adviser who may have some influence on them for me, but not anticipating good news. Back to the drawing board....

• Octuplets - Hmmm, interesting - so she had herself a litter. Oh, there she goes, she had herself a litter again. I know, not exactly a "litter" for the first group of SIX kids, since they do range in age and I think there is only one pair of twins. But it is quite surprising how slowly information is leaking out about this woman, who is only the second to give birth to octuplets in the U.S. From what I have pieced together, she is a single mother, living with her own mother (or had been until recently), obsessed with having kids (planned to have 12), underwent IVF (in-vitro fertilization) with donor sperm and then had the embryos frozen. Somehow - after already successfully birthing six children over recent years - she managed to convince doctors to implant her with all the remaining embryos. When she hooked up with the docs that cared for her through delivery, she had seven viable embryos detected. Doctors offered to therapeutically reduce the number to give her overall pregnancy a better chance of going to term and having healthier babies. She refused - which is fully within her rights. A surprise 8th baby is delivered among all the others at about 31 weeks (9 weeks early) - fortunately far enough along that they all have a good chance of survival.
  
  Of course - all will require quite a long hospitalization before they are fully out of the woods, which is quite expensive. This single mom will be caring for 14 young children - which is an impossible task without assistance. How she managed the resources to secure IVF and then implantation for each of her pregnancies (also very expensive) is beyond me. What doctor(s) in the world would dump all remaining frozen embryos into the uterus of a mother of SIX is borderline unethical. Presumably she did not want "leftover" frozen embryos to be destroyed (will address this more in an upcoming post about abortion rights), and perhaps only wanted to become pregnant one last time, but that is so irresponsible on the part of the physicians as well as herself to intentionally place herself into a super-high risk pregnancy - risky for her health, risky for the guardianship of her current kids, and risky for the babies she would be carrying. Once everyone is back from the hospital, can you imagine what her home life will be like?!? Nuts.
  
  
• Gay & transgender rights - please see my previous post for a dedicated rant on this topic. In the wake of the California prop 8 fiasco, there has recently been a victory for gay rights in Washington state, giving domestic partners all remaining rights of spouses (without the title of "spouse" itself). And without a whole lot of ruckus. Of course conservatives are complaining that it is a doorway to eventual gay marriage legislation.... Maybe that is the way it will have to go, slowly progressive steps until "marriage" is the next logical and undeniable right to confer.
  
  Something that bothers me though is the recent lawsuit filed by two transgender people in Illinois, demanding that the state alter their birth certificates to reflect their current gender status. Because they had their surgeries overseas, the Illinois government is refusing based on a lack of physician documentation. That should be a moot point - they ARE able to get passports, driver's license, etc. granted with their "current" gender. Why should birth records be altered? How is it ever acceptable to alter that sort of documentation? They were born as "boys" - not some ambiguous genitalia issue that was later resolved. They had elective surgery to become women, and are legally considered women based on their active personal IDs. Why should an archival document be changed? When a name is changed due to marriage or some other court procedure, the original birth certificate does not need to change. Granted, there is at least a paper trail to connect person A with their records under previous name B - so maybe a form documenting the change would be something to serve whatever need spurned this lawsuit. But changing vital records because of events later in life - that just doesn't seem right.
  
  
• On the topic of Illinois government (maybe my last comment on it for a while?), driving home after a Superbowl party tonight I was unexpectedly pleased at the removal of Blagojevich's name from the open-road toll plazas. Granted, it was probably $15,000 that could have been spent for something else, but that price pales in comparison to the $400,000-ish dollars the signs initially cost. And wow - the government managed to get something done in just a matter of days from the impeachment. I guess some people were pretty anxious to see that name wiped away.
  
  
• Dining out in a city in Tuscany - Not that I have ever had the chance to hang in Italy, nor do I anticipate this in the near future, but caught a snippet that made me triple take. Apparently, the tourism board of the city (Lucca?) has banned ethnic food. Huh? Well, new ethnic food. Their existing restaurants can stay, but apparently they will not allow any new establishments whose menus focus on any sort of non-local food items. No kebabs (Greek food), Thai, etc. Not even Sicilian food. What?? Isn't that basically a part of Italy? They want to preserve the feel of the region, but apparently even local chefs are complaining because "fusion" cooking is all the rage now, and they feel this could limit their menu options. But what happened to consumer choice and freedom?!? If I go to Tuscany I should be able to choose to have "authentic" Tuscan food... but should also have the option for whatever variety is available. If / when I go to such a region, I would definitely be staying long enough to enjoy several meals - why not have the option for a good curry dish as a break? This is also discriminatory to immigrants, who often support themselves by cooking up the cuisine of their homeland. "FAIL" for attempting to curtail freedom of choice.
  
  
• Finally, I cannot hold my tongue (or fingers, I guess) on the topic of the "Snuggie." People, this is just a comfy robe, or a flannel shirt, or whatever garment is handy, worn backwards. Do you really needs these direct marketers shoveling more crap down your throats?!? I'd like to load up a garbage scow with all the Sham-Wow's, Ped-eggs, clappers, touch lights, Chia-heads, choppers and juicers and try to get the pirates off Somalia to take THOSE off our hands. SHAM-UGHH!

Well, I guess that is enough for now. If you made it all the way to here, even I am impressed. Hope you enjoyed the Superbowl - it was pretty tight, a good show right to the very end. In case you've got it taped, TIVO'd, DVR'd, or just hoping to catch highlights I won't be the one to spoil it for ya. But man - cannot believe the number of penalties ... that has got to be a record. Here's to hoping for a cloudy day tomorrow - no shadows for the little rodent.

---

Photos mercilessly stolen from Google images.

Back to the blog!

Wow - it's been a while since I've even pretended to write anything.
Don't think I have / had much readership anyway... but what do you expect with such sporadic postings? Would be nice to know if any stragglers are still out there - drop me a comment if ya have the time.

Since I started this blog, have had many changes in my life - graduated medical school, relocated to Chicago, started work as a surgical resident, got married, and gained a couple of belt sizes, to name a few - and life is still throwing curves at me. The biggest stress in my life at this point is being jobless. After a hectic two years of residency and frustration over my temporary employment (preliminary residency), I dropped the ball on a disappointing job hunt and had no workplace to call home starting in July '08.

Tried to pick up where I left off on the job hunt back then, ran into some more roadblocks and limited choices, so I dug in my heels and tried to make progress in other areas. Got my third and final component of the licensing exam out of the way, completed paperwork to obtain my license, got back on the wagon of attemping to become more physically fit, and started tossing out decade-old junk in my apartment (I'm an incurable pack-rat, inherited from my dear old dad). Have re-immersed myself in the job hunt two more times, with poor results and depressed spirits. No weight lost with the new exercise routine, but I do feel my endurance is improving at least.

Now I'm back in the market - have two promising leads for jobs starting in July '09... but nothing is at all secured yet, and need something in the meantime or I'll be as good as bankrupt by the time I try to relocate. But moving forward from here. My wife happened to catch sight of a job fair poster, so I'll check that out and see what else comes out in the wash. If nothing else, I'll see about getting "fries with that."

In the meantime, I'm trying to continue cleaning out the apartment (what a slow process), working out as much as I can get motivated for, and spending quantity time (too much?!?) with the wife. In my pseudo-retirement, I let myself get a little overly-involved emotionally with the presidential race, so I am SO GLAD that that is now decided. It has, however, reawakened my passion for some controversial issues - I'll try to address these in upcoming posts.

I will try to keep up a little better with this blog. A while back I had started a second blog to try to document my life as a resident (Dr. Bonzo), so I will keep that one dedicated to medical professional life and (if there is interest) in talking about health issues. This one is more of an online journal, sort of a pop-off valve for my brain and a little window for those who choose to peer in to get to know me better. Hopefully, at the end of the day, it is a little diversion to the grind of life, and maybe even a bit of entertainment.

More to come soon!

Misadventures in Traveling

It almost wasn't going to happen anyway - so maybe I should still be optimistic.

The plan:
Join my wife in Switzerland this weekend, to finally meet the extended family.

The hitch:
I didn't get this month's rotation assigned until the last day of July, so I was unable to pre-arrange for vacation time to fly out overseas.

The miracles:
All the pieces came together at work, and I got my vacation approved for Thursday thru Wednesday. Unfortunately, the deal included starting my vacation while still finishing off my post-call shift (Thursday AM), but if it enabled the timing to work out... it would be worth having only a 6-day vacation with a zombied-out half-day (instead of the usual 7 days). And then not only did I find flights on the days and times I needed, I managed to secure a return-trip on the same flight my wife would be taking back to the States. And the icing on the cake, the price for my late-booked round-trip wasn't anywhere near outrageous.

The procrastination:
So I know I'm heading out to catch a plane on Thursday after being on-call, but by the time I headed in to work on Wednesday I had still not started packing. Par for the course for me. But not too atrocious - my flight out was scheduled to go at 7:30pm, so I *should* have had plenty of time to pack.

The beginning:
Actually started off ok. My night on call was not hellish, and while I did not get much more than 10 minute intervals of sleep, I did manage some shut-eye and felt functional. I was super-efficient at work during the morning, and actually got out of there around 9:30am. Plenty of time to pack, clean house, shower, poop, etc. I was somehow even efficient in packing and straightening up - got more done today than in the whole month my wife was gone.

The wrinkles:
As I am finishing the last little tidbits of packing and cleaning, I notice the sky getting dark outside. Just as I am considering heading out to walk to the "El" station, the heavens open up and Chicago gets a monsoon drenching. Wrinkle #1 - how do I get myself to O'Hare without drenching myself and my luggage? Ok, grab umbrella and walk to the El anyway. Wrinkle #2 - will I have to ditch my umbrella at the airport? Don't think they'll let me carry this spear on the plane. I guess not a big deal - I just never thought of them as "disposable." Wrinkle #3 - I wait a little while for the downpour to slow up, which it does, but now I am cutting into my safety margin for check-in, etc. Wrinkle #4 - what's that "tap, tap, tap" I hear before I head out the door? Oh, yeah - the west-facing window leak that never got fixed. I'm about to leave the apartment for a week, and I'll have a damp dishtowel on the windowsill in hopes of containing the flood and preventing damage to my floor and belongings. Screw it, I don't wanna be late(r).

More wrinkles:
Can't find my CTA pass. No worries, I'll buy a new one. Train pulling away as I start heading up the stairs. No worries, they come pretty frequently, right? Right? Shit ... does the Blue Line come by this station at this time of day, or do I need to take the Pink and transfer? The next train that came was a pink ... but some passengers on my side of the platform did stay behind, so I gambled and won that toss (broke my losing streak there - for a second). Train getting more and more full. I move in a seat and end up with my legs folded on top of my suitcase, with a leg protruding in the space for the seat next to me. "Sorry, no, I cannot move my leg" (as I point to the suitcase). He nods his head like he understands and then proceeds to continue slamming the oversized box on his lap into my right leg. Fun. And then all of a sudden I realize we've been at one of the stations quite a while. "We are experiencing weather-related delays because of the ... weather." The woman over the loudspeaker sounded quite nervous, and despite making the announcement every 5 minutes or so during our 45-minute hiatus, she still never managed to say it quite smoothly.

The train ride was made a touch brighter by the deaf woman that took the seat next to me when box-boy finally left. We had a nice little 'talk' about the weather and our respective trips, with her writing on yellow post-its and my typing back on my cell phone (since she seemed to have trouble reading my writing on her pad).

The catastrophe:
You guessed it - that nasty weather that slowed down our magnificent mass-transit system also caused diversion of many planes headed in to Chicago - such as the plane that would have then been loaded up with me and a bunch of strangers. Instead of noting this, however, the screens indicate that departure will be 1 hour later than expected. At first I breathe a sigh of relief - I'm still somewhat early, but this delay will let me get through security and get settled at the gate without rushing. Or so I thought.

The vein-popping:
Waiting in the queue at the ticketing counter, with about 8 or so other parties there, I start to hear murmurings about "canceled." The guy in front of me and the guy behind me in line appear to know each other, and talk quite extensively, loudly, closely - and with not such pleasant breath - right over my head. I step out of their way and effectively end up cutting in front of the guy, but do so after leaving room for him to advance, and slowly taking his spot when he stays behind to yap. More and more people show up - some filing in behind at the queue, most just milling about on the side of the only apparently-staffed ticket counter. Of course, no staff seem to be around, but this is where a few of the customers were set up when I had gotten into line. Then the most soft-spoken man EVER starts to announce things about the flight, "...working on it ... have patience" - but nothing coherent to me. Like he was just adding to previous details, but not reiterating anything for the rapidly-growing crowd. People start milling about more aggressively, stalking the counter. People rush up onto the scene thinking they are late and missing the flight, having no respect for the queue and effectively mobbing the ticket counters. The gentleman comes back and announces that yes, the flight is canceled - and the chances of arranging alternate flights into Switzerland are increasingly slim, because apparently today was not the first day of canceled flights in, and many other alternates were also canceled today because of the weather. He indicates that the airline will do their best to get people on equivalent flights, some maybe that night but most tomorrow (hopefully!). And then suddenly there are 6 ticket agents - dealing with whomever is in front of their counter. Slowly.

An hour later (no joke) it seems that no one has moved away. More people crowding in, more people between me and these public servants that have no idea how close i feel to snapping.

Finally I get ahold of the customer service number (not posted anywhere, not on my ticket) - but nope, that's actually a phone sex ad. Replace the 1-800 with 1-877 and I DO finally get customer service, and the woman talks around a resolution to my problem three times before i realize she's saying that I'm booked on the equivalent flight tomorrow. Relieved, I step back from the counter and decide to treat myself to some McD's - since it is now after 8pm and I never did have a meal yet today. The joint in the international terminal is of course packed, and - you guessed it - I get in the line that is lapped twice on both sides before I work my way to the register.

But tomorrow is a new day - we'll see how many ways I can screw up trying to leave the country.

:-)

Screwed again?

grrrrrrrrrr.....

recently found out that my little adventure in general surgery over the past year (June 2006 until this coming June) may be a more-or-less wasted year.

the initial goal, since i did not match into my residency of choice as a 4th year medical student (see prior blogs), was to spend this year doing a general surgery internship, which would (in theory) satisfy the "general surgery year" requirement of my residency of choice, ENT. then, as i try to find a permanent residency slot this spring, i could springboard right into a second-year slot if programs with an opening were interesting in hiring me, or i'd have the option of going through the match again, and starting in year-one of the five year program. of course, it would be preferred to not have to repeat year one - because of the workload AND the extra time!!

less than 72 hours ago, however, i was just informed that the accreditation council requirements for first-year slots in ENT require completion of specific rotations, including 4 that i did not get assigned to: neurosurg, emergency medicine, anesthesia, and critical care. although i knew that many (most / all?) ENT programs do make sure their residents get these "core" rotations under their belts, i was never aware that it was a requirement for licensure / board certification. if that really is true, it is a fairly recent change (within the past 2-3 years) - as older residents would share stories with me about how their general surgery year was spent in the dregs of the hospitals' offerings, doing scut work and difficult rotations that the "home" program spared their own categorical general surgery residents.

yeah - this probably doesn't make a lot of sense to anyone not well-versed in the matching / residency process. no worries. i just need to vent about how i've gotten myself screwed (yet again, due in part to poor advising and in part to my lack of initiative in hunting down info that i didn't know i was missing). i'm just sorta pissed off at my residency program, for not being on top of the standards for their prelim residents (interns) and doing all they can to advance their future prospects - as they boast that they are doing all the time. i was even recruited here with the promise that they'd make special accommodation and guarantee me a rotation in ENT ... which is the ONE thing that is NOT required for an ENT first-year resident. of course, it sounded good at the time....

back to the drawing board. at least i'm learning from some of this. hope it's not too late to help someone else out there!!! and the year is not "wasted" - i'm learning a whole lot of gen surg stuff that i might not get at a program with a weaker reputation in surgery. and hey - if the rumors are right, at least i'll be making 2nd-year resident salary when i start at a new place this summer!

ok - sleepy time.

the following week...

i'm finally [mostly] recovered, emotionally and physical, from the hell of last week's matching activities. i've gone through the denial, the anger, the bargaining, and depression, and am mostly toward acceptance of my fate. it's always nice, though, to get messages like this (scramble was on Tues 3/14):

Date: Sun, 19 Mar 2006 20:03:58
Subject: Regrets about the system and our tardiness

Dear [bonzo],

I regret I did not get back to you in time on scramble day. ERAS ~ melted down on us and turned out to be the least good method of gathering information. You would have been an excellent candidate for us. Our loss. I wish you well. We thank you for applying to [this academic center].

Sincerely,

[John Doe], MD
Program Director
[Our academic center]

[note: "ERAS" is the "Electronic Residency Application Service," the software used to apply to residency initially. Some residency programs utilized this also during the scramble.]

it doesn't help that [this academic center] was pretty much my top choice of the "plan B" list, and to see that i could have had a spot there. other offers included Loyola (Chicago) and Wayne State University (Detroit) - but i'm very happy with my choice of Rush.

still never heard from Iowa - and looks like they are still unfilled. figures. now just waiting to hear officially from Rush - to get my contract, and to find out how much i'll be making, etc. need to contact some current residents and get their opinions on places to live....

back in the world of the living ... sorta

yeah.

settled - i'm going with option - was it #2? (hehe - no comments on "number 2" please....) i have booked myself into a PGY1 (post-graduate year 1) general surgery internship at Rush in Chicago. will be interesting to be in the big city. but at least (or just another form of torture?!?) i will be close to family.

next big steps -

• get lady-love back into the country
• find some digs (house/apt to rent for 1 year)
• figure out how to schmooze my way into an oto residency while maintaining credit for the year of internship i'll be in the middle of....

oh, and i guess it would be a good idea to study enough to jump into this program running...!!

in the meantime, "baby steps":

• get HxPxDx grades all tucked in - which of course means more grading, etc.
• ACE my psych shelf exam - that will be at the near-end of april
• go shopping for the first time in nearly a month - my dinner for the past three days has been peanut butter & jelly on a bagel
• throw out all my dirty dishes and invest in styrofoam
• i guess it would be a good idea to do my taxes at some point

and maybe the most daunting task - go through all the SHIT in my apartment and throw stuff out to make it easier to move at the end of may.

yeah.
life IS fun.

peace out,
e

scramblishous

So here's the status / options at this point:

#1 Choice:
1 program left with an open ENT slot - Iowa. (Research track, 7 year program). Dunno when they will decide on that - hopefully early tomorrow, but I am not optimistic.

#2 Choice:
Hooking up with a prelim / intern year general surgery program at a location that happens to have an ENT program as well - so can work toward transitioning into that program for next year. Top candidates now (depending on open slots on Wednesday morning) include Rush in Chicago and Vanderbilt in Nashville. Some other places too - may need to resort to DISTANT places like Pennsylvania, NY, or California. IF they have slots open still by then!!!

#3 Option:
Hook up with any prelim general surgery year I can scramble into, and worry about ENT with next year's applications. I may be accepted as a 2nd year resident, or I may have to repeat an intern year. Dunno what decides that yet.

#4 (last) option:
Plan to delay entering residency for another year. There are myriad things I could be doing in the "downtime" - not gonna bother listing them now. But they include a few things that will make matching next year a piece of cake. Theoretically.

So we'll see what we see. Ugh.

In better news, VISA stuff is "moving along" and the paperwork will be in Malaysia within 1 week. One more / less thing to worry about.....

Life is fun, no?
e

Four Weddings and a Funeral

Woke up this morning to see Bonzo's txt msg on my phone: gotta scramble.

Oh, bugger.

Lemmie translate: All those interviews he attended were part of this elaborate process that ultimately matched 4th year medical students with hospitals/schools where they would do their internships.

I don't know what the (students graduating :internship places) ratio is, but I suppose there will always be cases of some end up not getting "matched" despite going through the elaborate process. So they need to "scramble" for any places that still have open spaces, if any.

Bugger, bugger, bugger.

(If you have the image of Hugh Grant banging his head against a tent pole while muttering those words, from the movie that's the title of this blog post, well, you're on the same track as me :p )

In this case, it seems there are 5 spots open for dunno how many applicants: 1 in west, 1 in midwest / central, and 3 in south (inlcuding puerto rico). Actual locations not available until noon tomorrow. And all he can so is "get on the phone, and wheel-and-deal / send out application materials".

Did I say bugger yet?

Will find out March 16th whether he managed to get a scrambled place, or if we need to go to plan B. or C. or D. or E. :D

Stay tuned.

Bugger.

(NOTE: reposted this back to "u.s. time", i.e. 12hrs earlier than "actual" Malaysian time)

EVENTS and catch-up

it's been far too long since i posted something here. not much time, so this is just quick.

BIG EVENTS lately:

1. my woman went bye-bye - she's back in maRaysia. :,-( apt. is way too quiet, cat is nuts, and i'm gonna have to start doing dishes again.
2. my "rank order list" for the match is submitted and unchangeable. only ranked 5 programs, but hopefully i'll be ok. will find out March 13th if i matched, and (if so) will find out where on March 16th. and will promptly get drunk afterward. might do that on march 13th too - if i'm not stuck scrambling for an unmatched program.
3. delayed taking my USMLE step II computer exam - was booked for today, but 2 days ago (after speaking with staff here - to make sure i can take time off my psych rotation later to sit for exam) - at cost of $100 and > 2 hours playing on computer and speaking with the testing service via phone - i'm rebooked for monday March 6. at least now i'll have a chance to open a book first - assuming i take advantage of the time!! i'm not really bummed about the cost - a mere drop in the bucket compared to the $1,430 to take the exams (computer and skill-station parts). For those that don't yet know - the computer portion of the exam is a 9 hour (yes, nine) 1-day exam. The skill-station part is only offered in 5 cities in the US - i'm scheduled to take that (another full-day exam) in May in Houston (yes, Texas). Fun!
   
4. finally finished (last night) the last big event for the class i'm TA-ing. sorta. they still have one more quiz and their final exam - which i'll have to work more on the huge "review packet" for, and type up exams once i pester the prof enough to provide the questions. and of course in april are the gyne labs, but thankfully the instructor coordinates most of that.
5. monday i start my last core rotation - psychiatry. i've been dreading it, but theoretically it should be a lot of fun. i've been out of the clinics since mid-december, so it's a bit to get used to again.

i think that's most of it, worth mentioning.

i caught up on my woman's blog, and she posted an interesting link (see below chart for link) on "linguistics" .... i took the quiz and here's my result:

Your Linguistic Profile:

75% General American English

10% Upper Midwestern

5% Dixie

5% Midwestern

5% Yankee

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

sorta interesting. :-) check here for lynne's results.

in terms of lynne's return ... we're waiting out the red tape for the fiancee visa. they should BEGIN processing our application at the Nebraska Service Center within the month (knock on wood) - there's of course a backlog. after that processing time, we'll be granted permission for her to apply at her local embassy there for the ACTUAL fiancee visa. another couple of months for that .... i'll keep things posted here as i find out.

most likely lynne will trip in to help me look for a place if/once i match. so maybe end of march? perfect - right in the middle of my psych rotation - i'll need the burst of [in]sanity by then i'm sure. :-)

ok - out! hugs, kisses, and Coke Zero(tm)!
e

btw, how the hell do you do "superscripts" here?!? or don't you.....

I don't envy....

the life of a medical resident. wow. i'm here at washington university in st. louis, missouri, about to start my 4th and last week of a sub-internship in otolaryngology (ENT - ear, nose, and throat) and head & neck surgery. i am applying to enter residency in ENT in 2006. a nice additional 5 years to my already extended education.

residents are SO busy! sleep and eating become optional. at least i'll be able to drop some pounds then, maybe.

wish me luck!

soon i jump over to iowa city for another crack at this sub-internship thing (to make sure i like the field, and to see what things are like in that program). then back to lovely shampoo-banana to spend precious moments with my fianceE before she heads off to her homeland once again. i love bureaucratic nonsense with immigration etc.

love and kisses,
e